timing is everything 🕰
My unnecessarily complex answer to "what's your favorite book?" + some upcoming releases I'm excited about
As an avid reader, a lot of people ask me what my favorite book is.
An impossibly hard, albeit fair, question. I’ve read so many phenomenal books in my life that narrowing in on one favorite feels like an abandonment of others. Dramatic, but true.
Because choosing one favorite book feels like a herculean task that I’m not prepared to commit to, my A to that common Q is this: The one book that stands out among the rest is Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff because it’s the book that rekindled my love of reading, commencing this reading “phase” that I’m still in five years later and plan to never leave.
I’ve always enjoyed reading. My mom tells stories of how I used to chew the corners of board books when I was a baby–you could say I’ve been devouring books since birth.
But before Fates and Furies, I had been having a hard time sticking with books. I’d start and abandon, or would go months, years without starting anything at all. That’s why, to me, it feels like some sort of cosmic alignment that this book came into my life when it did–the timing of this book changed something in me. It made me love reading again. This impact is rare and doesn’t—shouldn’t—happen with every book you read, but I’m so glad it happened to me with this one.
Much like plot, characters, and writing style, the timing of when you read a book is an equally critical ingredient in the recipe of reading. What’s going on in your life at any given moment can impact the way you read a book, the way you receive it, or not. Are you guarded? Are you curious? Are you grieving? Are you falling in love? Are you questioning? Are you struggling? Are you busy and thinking of your to-do list or are you finally taking a break with a completely free day ahead? Are you in the midst of working through something or are you feeling resolved? Because you’re a human living in the world, you’re likely experiencing your own unique cocktail of the above. You can only deeply connect with a book if that book meets you where you are.
Of course I didn’t know the impact that the book and its timing would have on me then. I waltzed into Browser Books on Fillmore Street in San Francisco one weekend when my brother was visiting and bought a pretty cover. It laid around, untouched, for a few months. For whatever reason–desire to consume something other than social media, free time provided to me by my long-distance relationship, an escape from the mundanity of my first full-time, 9-5 job–I picked it up and began.
Fates and Furies met me in a time where my mind was malleable. I was living truly on my own for the first time, in a brand new place that was opening my eyes and mind and heart to so many different experiences and ways of being. Everything was stimulating and unfamiliar and I wanted it all. I was open and eager, I was becoming myself. I was learning what mattered to me. I was learning that empathy is a crucial component of how I want to live my life, and this experience essentially said “here’s how”, guiding me to a world of reading, of entering new worlds and perspectives with a flip of the page.
The feeling of connection, of curiosity, of excitement I felt while reading and after setting the book down quite honestly threw me off. I wasn’t expecting it and didn’t see it coming, which made it all the more powerful. The surprise of the experience was a gift. It hasn’t happened quite the same way since—the rarity, another gift. It was the beginning of something, a spark that continues to burn to this day.
But sometimes this can be a more purposeful act. You can find that connection, that awakening by pursuing it, by seeking answers, by matching a book’s purported lessons with a moment in your life or a specific need. I find this is easier with nonfiction–it happened to me with The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. My perfectionism has always held a tight grasp on me, limiting me and holding me back for fear of failure. I read this phenomenal book—a “guide to a wholehearted life”, also a guide to help you “let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are”—at a time in my life when I was feeling especially afraid of failure. This book would have resonated with me at any time, but was literally exactly what I needed at that exact time.
Not every book you read will connect with you, and that’s insightful too. There’s beauty in reading purely for escape, too. I’ve found that the more I read, the more I filter—the list of books I’ve read and simply forgotten about is long. This just makes that magical, rare type of “eureka” reading experience even more special. Regardless of genre, reading is such an individual act–it looks different for everyone. And isn’t that so beautiful?
We all bring our baggage and our potential to every experience we face, to every book we read. Art goes out into the world and belongs to those who consume it, and there’s no telling what will connect and what won’t until it does or doesn’t. You know what they say about one man’s trash. If my experience is any indication, your treasure will find you at exactly the right time–or times if you’re lucky!
When asked about my favorite book—it’s not a succinct answer, but it’s an honest one.
Have you ever had a reading experience like this?
If so, tell me about it in the comments or by replying—I’m selfishly curious and am down to talk reading 24/7, 365 :)
In a perpetual effort to chase that Fates and Furies type of high, I’m always looking ahead to upcoming releases.
Here are some books I’m anticipating that will be published in the coming months.
Alphabetical Diaries by Sheila Heti
Most of Heti’s books, regardless of genre or plot, seem to be musings on life itself, shrewd observations brought to life through beautiful words. This one is no different I’m sure, but the structure is unlike anything I’ve seen. She imported half a million words of her personal diaries into an Excel document and alphabetized each sentence in an effort to find themes, and therefore, “Self”. Wild. Here’s my review of her book Pure Colour. I’m seeing her speak next week as a part of her book tour through Books Are Magic! Out February 6.
There’s Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib
What a writer. I don’t claim to be a big sports girl, but I do enjoy basketball (go Suns) and I’m especially intrigued by anything that combines the sport and its cultural impact with art. With the stunningly beautiful writing of Abdurraqib, I imagine this will be just that. Here’s my review of his last book, The Little Devil in America. I’m seeing him speak too at The Bell House through Greenlight Bookstore! Out March 26.
Worry by Alexandra Tanner
This is an all-time cover. And LitHub described it as “within the genre of the millennial malaise lit-girl novel”. For those two reasons, I’m in. And I love a good debut! Out March 26.
The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality by Amanda Montell
In April of last year, I went on a reading and writing retreat that was hosted by this gorgeous, gregarious soul and had the absolute pleasure of hearing about the concept for this book on the streets of Siena at 3 am with wine in hand. I was already a huge fan of her work on Wordslut and Cultish, and it holds an even dearer place in my heart because of that special week in Italy. You better believe I smashed that pre-order. Her Substack, Magical Overthinkers, dives into the world of the book as well. Out April 9.
Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen by Suzanne Scanlon
I don’t know anything about this author but the premise of this book is fascinating—”a story of discovery and recovery, reclaiming the idea of the madwoman as a template for insight and transcendence through the works of … Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath … and others”. Out April 16.
The Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors
I adore this writer. Every word she writes—whether it’s in a novel or an Instagram post—is ethereal and captivating. Her debut novel, Cleopatra and Frankenstein, was dazzling and I have no doubt this one will be as well. Here’s my review for Cleo and Frank. Out April 25.
Tehrangeles by Porochista Khakpour
This perfectly chaotic cover caught my attention, and with this description—”Iranian-American multimillionaires Ali and Homa Milani have it all: a McMansion in the hills of Los Angeles, a microwaveable snack empire, and four spirited daughters”—there’s no way it’s not a good time. Out June 11.
Long Island Compromise by Taffy Brodesser-Akner
The author of Fleishman is in Trouble—the adaptation of which is incredible—takes on a family saga that will undoubtedly be as sticky and enthralling. Out July 9.
Lots to look forward to! Until next time.
Love, Shelby
PS — Anytime I link a book, it’s through my affiliate page with Bookshop, so I could earn a small commission if you purchase through those! Just FYI :)